Both of my parents were school teachers for 35-40 years each. Never once, not even after Columbine, did I think to ask them if they were afraid to go to work. Now I'm wondering if they ever were -- if they ever looked around their classrooms and worked out a plan for if anything horrible was happening -- "Where can I hide? How many students can fit there? Do these windows open? Who's the bravest kid in each of my classes? ... who's the unhappiest kid in each of my classes?"
I was stressed about work this week. I was stressed about chores at home that need to get done.
I don't have kids, but I understood when I saw that one of my Facebook friends, who lives here in Indiana, left work in the middle of the day today to grab her toddler out of daycare... just because she wanted to hold him. Her son was in no danger at daycare, but the people at an elementary school in a sleepy Connecticut town assumed they were in no danger either.
At work today, we all stopped for a while to watch real-time news online. We still went to our meetings, sent our emails, etc., but for about ten minutes, we were just silent and sick to our stomachs.
These were children. I first said "innocent children," but everyone who is a victim of one of these acts is innocent. I don't want to take away from the adults today that were victims -- parents, educators... servants to our society... and in the end, all we can ask is "why?" The cliche exists for a reason, I suppose.
As an atheist, there are times when you wish you could pray -- then you'd actually feel like you're doing something. But also as an atheist, you wonder how people can believe in a god at a time like this.
I don't really know what else to say.