So I've been on this quest to be more open to new friendships and use more energy in my current friendships because I'm afraid of no one coming to my funeral at some point, remember? I've received many wonderful messages from my lovely readers (all eleven of you) -- some of you are in the same boat as I am, and some of you had some great advice that I plan to follow. Some of that advice included joining clubs and being more active in the community, and I think that's an awesome idea. I love to volunteer but haven't done it much since high school (we actually had a volunteering club in high school called S.T.R.I.V.E. -- "Students Teaching and Reaching In Volunteering Efforts"... kind of a stretch, I realize, but maybe someone REALLY wanted to call it S.T.R.I.V.E.).
My sister-in-law, for her birthday a couple years ago, did not ask for gifts but instead organized a Habitat for Humanity day where many of her friends and family painted a house in Franklin(?), Indiana. I should be able to remember if it was Franklin, since that's where David was born, but whatevs. I asked her at one point during the day what made her think of doing this, as it was a really cool birthday idea, and she shrugged and said, "I don't need any more 'things,' but other people do."
Maybe I'll do that for my birthday next year. It doesn't even bother me that Habitat for Humanity is really a Christian ministry. It used to, in my more militant days, bother me that organizations like that (and Alcoholics Anonymous, the larger organizations that do AIDS research, etc.) were religion-based, but then I was like, "dafuq, they help people," and I got over it.
Anyway, on to what I actually wanted to post about: last night.
I discovered that, after years of not really trying to make friends, I may be completely socially inept. Like a muscle that has atrophied after years of negligence, I have no idea how to talk to people.
I was at Kate's going away "party" (I put "party" in quotes because only a sadistic bastard like Kate would party at the thought of moving away) at a bar last night, and once my co-workers all left, I sat at the bar and waited for a cab, since David took the car home when he left pretty early on.
|Last night, before I let my nerd flag fly|
I decided to try to make friends, so I started talking to these guys next to me. I'd noticed that they'd been kind of whispering to each other and... actually, to be honest, they seemed like they were a couple. They said they were students, and I asked about that, and only one of them really talked to me, but he seemed uncomfortable most of the time. So I stopped and watched the TV behind the bar instead, but right as I did that, the guy that hadn't been as social was all "bye" and then did that little pinched face that says "wow, you are reeeeally uncool."
So they left. Apparently I was keeping them from something. The bartender actually walked over to me when they left and said, "Don't take it personally. I think they're a couple." I wasn't trying to hook up with either of them, so that isn't what I would take personally -- it's that I was trying to just have a conversation with both of them, and that was some major uncoolness apparently. Whatever.
But earlier in the night, I was talking to the wife of a co-worker about making friends. She said that she, too, has a hard time finding people to hang out with and that she and her husband are constantly on the lookout for friends.
So what happens to me? Socially retarded explosion.
"YOU GUYS SHOULD COME OVER SOMETIME!! I can cook! And we might have a badminton set in a closet somewhere! AND WE HAVE A FIREPIT IN THE BACKYARD!!" I screamed at her, as her eyes got wider and wider. And then she meekly replied, "Oh... okay."
Anyone seen the episode of How I Met Your Mother that describes how Lily and Marshall try way too hard at their dinner parties? Yeah... I turned into the creepy "try the gouda!!!!!!" guy.