The topic of "50 things I want to do before I die" is trending on Twitter. I was inspired. In no order at all:
1. Meet Michael Nesmith.
2. Meet Paul McCartney.
3. Get that cute LG washer/dryer unit. The red one.
4. Have a kid.
5. Write a cookbook.
5 (a). One for comfort food;
5 (b). One for campfire cooking; and
5 (c). One for healthy, fast cooking on the cheap.
6. Rent a convertible and do Route 66.
7. Go on a survival trip.
8. Throw an arrow at a world map and travel to wherever it hits. I hope the arrow hits land...
9. Change the mind of a Young Earth creationist.
10. Save someone's life.
11. Be able to fit into this dress again:
12. Sell that dress.
13. Write a fiction novel.
14. Fold and put away all my laundry. Just once. All I need is once.
15. Emerge from financial debt without prostituting myself.
16. Have a fulfilling career.
17. Catch a foul ball at a major league game, even though I hate baseball.
(Maybe it's because I hate baseball. "Hey, baseball sucks. So I'm taking your ball.")
18. Watch Paranormal Activity 2 without covering my eyes.
19. Figure out a hairstyle I like and stick to it.
|Not this one.|
20. Have a savings account. (Again.)
21. Live somewhere other than Indiana.
22. Do one of those Tough Mudder challenge things.
23. Be on Jeopardy.
24. Sing in public.
25. Help build a school in a poor area. Follow up with people who work there.
26. Finish my master bedroom.
27. Take a ride around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
28. Find out who the fuck the "Mother" is in "How I Met Your Mother." Ted Mosby = worst storyteller ever.
|Scumbag Ted Mosby.|
29. Run two miles in 12 minutes.
30. Hit the front page on Reddit.com.
31. Teach someone how to play the piano.
32. Buy my childhood home and flip it. My mom would have to move out first, I suppose.
33. Participate in amateur night at a comedy club.
34. Eat something that sounds disgusting but might not be. Any suggestions?
35. Detox from bad food, like my friend Kate did. First week: Fruits, vegetables, water only (with supplements). Second week: Introduce some proteins. Third week: Introduce dairy. Etc. (I might not be exact with that calendar.) No alcohol, no oils, minimum carbs. It sounds extreme, and Kate felt like shit the first week. She also sounded like a pregnant woman: "I want a cheeseburger. I want cereal. I want butter." But I like challenges that are both mental and physical.
36. See a tornado. I GREW UP IN INDIANA AND HAVE NEVER SEEN A TORNADO.
37. Get the muscles worked out in my neck so that I quit having tension headaches every day. Can I get my insurance to cover massage? I ask because I have missed work because of these headaches before.
38. Have a successful veggie garden.
39. Maintain a pond in my backyard with fish in it, like my aunt Carol had when I was little.
40. Refinance my house and/or get my ex-fiancé's name off the mortgage and title.
41. Ride a horse. Maybe. I don't know about this one. I'm a bit scared of horses.
42. Own a property with woods and a stream.
43. Run a marathon.
44. Make new memories in Orcas Island.
|Me on the ferry to Orcas Island in 2007. I kind of... cropped someone out of it. I've been to Orcas three or four times, and, except for the last time, always had fun. I want to go back someday.|
45. Visit an Indian reservation.
46. Have the perfect little black dress.
47. Kick Ben Roethlisberger in the nuts.
48. Get a tattoo. I have some planned out.
49. Find a message in a bottle and write back.
50. Write another list of fifty things I want to do because I have completed this one.
For the record, I have a one-up on Twitter, where the #50thingsiwanttodobeforeidie came from. Twitter says:
1. Get married (everyone does that)
2. Meet Justin Bieber (not interested)
3. Go skydiving (been there)
4. Fall in love (done that)
5. Lose my virginity (no comment... but I lived with someone I was engaged to... so let's face it, the jig is up)
6. Go to Paris (I've heard it smells bad)
7. Get Kim Kardashian to sit on my face (I'd rather die with no bucket list)
One thing I saw on Twitter that I'd also like to do:
"Throw a party with non-alcoholic beer and see how many people act drunk." Good luck, my friend.