8.13.2012

A spell for letting go

I want normal things, damn it. 

I want to dance at my wedding with a ridiculously enormous dress on, and I want many people to be there.  And they will also dance until I tell them not to anymore. 

I want to go to the beach with my kids.  I want their father to put them up on his shoulders.  I want their father to have wanted kids as much as I did.  I want their father to care about himself as much as he cares about me.

I want to tell stories of how I met my husband.  We'd have it as practically a two-person show, with well-timed interjections from the other person of humorous details to the story, and of course a sentence that we'll both say at the same time for emphasis while sharing a knowing look.  We'll ignore our friends as they roll their eyes.

I want a next-of-kin that isn't a parent (sorry guys).  I want to be more than just an emergency contact.  I want to be legally bound to someone who wants to be legally bound to me.  No more joint tenancy with rights of survivorship.

I don't think I'll ever get these things.  It sucks.

6 comments:

  1. Why are you saying that? Because you are 28??? Susan, Susan did you realize your grandma Mary was 26 when she had me and 32 when she had your mom? Yes, she married at 22 but look how long they waited for kids! You should not be so negative, there is someone out there you just have not met him yet. Don't worry so much put a smile on your face and be happy where you are. You are a beautiful, loving, smart, caring,and family loving young woman who has a lot to offer. The man is out there I swear it will happen and I don't think I have ever lied to you!

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  2. Oh this will definitely happen for you. It just will. :)

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  3. It will happen!
    And when it does you will be like, "What the H did I get myself into!!" :)

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  4. I find things tend to happen when you least expect it. Life's gotta amuse itself somehow! :)

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  5. Try not to wallow in negative thoughts. Life is too short for that hun. Live it up while you're here.

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