8.13.2012

A spell for letting go

I want normal things, damn it. 

I want to dance at my wedding with a ridiculously enormous dress on, and I want many people to be there.  And they will also dance until I tell them not to anymore. 

I want to go to the beach with my kids.  I want their father to put them up on his shoulders.  I want their father to have wanted kids as much as I did.  I want their father to care about himself as much as he cares about me.

I want to tell stories of how I met my husband.  We'd have it as practically a two-person show, with well-timed interjections from the other person of humorous details to the story, and of course a sentence that we'll both say at the same time for emphasis while sharing a knowing look.  We'll ignore our friends as they roll their eyes.

I want a next-of-kin that isn't a parent (sorry guys).  I want to be more than just an emergency contact.  I want to be legally bound to someone who wants to be legally bound to me.  No more joint tenancy with rights of survivorship.

I don't think I'll ever get these things.  It sucks.