Current events

My take on some recent current events.  For some reason, I keep going to news sites, and I can't understand anything that is going on right now:

  • The Colts let Peyton Manning go, and some people are actually surprised.  I'm officially a Bears fan now.  This also counts as a "local headline" for me. 
    I know he looked like he was crying at this press conference, but honestly, it looks like he's stifling a laugh right here.  Probably took everything he had to not chuckle and go, "SUCKAS."
  • We're having the biggest solar storm in years, so we best stock up on water and board up the house!!!!!  This is crazyyy!!!!  OMGOMGOMGOMGOM-- oh hey, nothing happened.
  • In local news, one headline jumped out at me:  "Scientific method alive, well at science fair."  Well, let's fucking hope so.  This is, however, Indiana, so you can't exactly be shocked when angry parents crash a science fair and drawl out, "This is ridiculous, teachin' mah boy that the earth is round!  Y'all should be ashamed of yerselves!"
  • Something called a "Snooki" is pregnant.  This is grabbing international attention.  I'm guessing it's a Wookiee wearing a Snuggie, in which case a pregnancy would be pretty thrilling!  I wonder if news stations will film the birth live where the Snooki is being cared for in captivity.

P.S.  Yo, Micky Dolenz!  Try to have a happy birthday today.


  1. Hahaha, if only snooki WAS a wookie wearing a snuggie... society would be so much better off.

    1. Don't forget the "living in captivity" thing. That might be important.