A bouquet of condescension

I have a habit of taking shows I watch and writing summaries or rants on them.  For example, I bitched about the Kardashians, and I wrote the synopsis for any given episode of Mad Men and Grey's Anatomy.

But I can't seem to do it to Army Wives

Photo courtesy of fanpop.
 The show is, dare I say, perfect, despite the tear-jerking scenes, over-the-top military-sounding music, and redonkulous stereotyping.  It has eroded away my snark to the point where I only have like, a little snark nub, or something.  So frustrating.  Who am I without my snark?  I'm so lost.

I don't like the Moran kids on the show, but that isn't saying much, because I don't know many people who love snotty kids with whiny voices.  (I like the LeBlanc kids though.  They're more realistic.  I don't like that they switched out the actor for the older kid in the fifth season, though I don't know their reasoning behind it.  I'm very glad they switched out the actress for Emmalin after the first season, because the girl who played her originally had one of those faces that I just really wanted to punch.) 

David said all the Army stuff involved in the show is really accurate, except for the uniforms, since there are laws about that or something.  Anyway, I've been watching Army Wives for three days straight after work, even abandoning SWTOR, because it's so addicting.  And this is my third time watching the whole series.  It isn't even new to me. 

It's kind of driving me nuts.  The other day I used the word "chit" instead of fine (as in a ticket for violating something, not "fine" like what people say when they're mad and passive aggressive). 

I also don't think I could be a Ms. Snarkypants about Man, Woman, Wild, but probably only because the couple in the show is so adorable.

Now, I love Six Feet Under, but I bet I could make fun of it, because seriously -- nobody talks like that.  "I appreciate your honesty, wrapped as it was in a bouquet of condescension"?  "Did you just make me a lifetime commitment right before the thinly veiled threat of abandonment"?  Although it does have its syllable-challenged characters... like Claire, when she smoked crystal meth in the first episode right before finding out her father had been hit by a bus:  "I guess this whole hellish experience I'm about to go through is just going to 'burn a little brighter,' right?  Great!  Thank you!  Fuck!"

I'll throw something together for that show, because apparently I don't have much going on.

Favorite shows, anyone?  Any you love to hate?


  1. "I appreciate your honesty, wrapped as it was in a bouquet of condescension"
    I would probably say that, or something equally show-offy. But I'd be saying it for a laugh.

    Yet, I wouldn't mix metaphors. A bouquet doesn't "wrap" something. If it does, it's not a bouquet. It's more like a blanket, or a shawl, or a serape. Or a muu-muu. Or the carcass of a goat.

    1. You're right. It is the bouquet that is wrapped... in tissue paper and such. I never thought of that.

      Thing is, people don't usually think to say something show-offy until five minutes after the conversation. In that show, they always have the perfect words right on time.