5.26.2011

I'm either stupid or insane

The weather in Indiana isn't known for its stability.  In the last few months, we've had everything -- snow, 90° days, 40° days (within the same week as the 90° days), tornadoes, several inches of rain, several days with no rain, humidity.  So it shouldn't come as a surprise to know that yesterday, Indiana once again experienced what is known as "Indiana weather."  (Hey.  With weather like this, we don't have time to get all creative.)

Now, here's my beef:  The tornado sirens went off four times yesterday.  Thing is, there was no tornado.  This is good and bad, but mostly bad, and I'll give you examples of why --

1.  The first time the alarms went off, I was at work, crammed in our "tornado-safe" hallway downstairs.  I was also soaking wet after having just run in from my car in a heavy downpour, so I got to be even more uncomfortable.  But I couldn't see the storm.  I resented being inside and bored while a storm was potentially raging outside.  Plus, I was at work, with no work to do, and the guy next to me said, "If I'm going to die, do I really want to die here at work, with all these people I don't like?" and I understood his point.  At any rate, they've gotten so lax with the sirens that we knew there was no tornado, so we just plain didn't want to be downstairs.  So the first tornado siren was annoying as hell, because they totally haven't been used for the purpose of "SHIT SHIT SHIT TORNADO ON THE GROUND BITCHES," so we all had to waste twenty minutes in that dumb hallway.

2.  The final three sirens went off when D. and I were at home on the porch, watching a storm roll in.  We didn't even sit up in our seats.  I continued to sip my cocktail, and he was texting a friend about something else entirely.  During the last siren, I was on the phone with my brother's best friend because his dog had just died.  He was like, "Oh... don't you need to get off the phone?" and I said, "Nah.  I'm gonna keep sitting outside.  I will get off the phone, though, because this dumb siren is loud."  Again, each of those three times, no tornado showed up to the party.  Because I was at home, and I'm my own boss when I'm home (that's right bitches), I didn't have to huddle with my cat in the bathroom against my (and my cat's) will.  Instead, I was reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and letting my cat explore the front lawn.  Had a tornado showed up, I'd be dead and embarrassed.  And the next time a tornado does show up to my curious, siren-trigger-happy town, a lot of people are going to be dead and embarrassed because a siren went off and they thought, "Those morons.  If they keep crying wolf like that, nobody's going to take them seriou--(whack)" and they fall off their roof, binoculars in hand, because the tornado broke off a tree branch and sent it their way.

3.  I really like tornadoes.  I'd really love to see one some day.  Those sirens give me false hope.  Every time a siren goes off and there's no fucking tornado, I'm sorely disappointed.  It makes me sad.

People say early sirens are a good thing.  I think they suck.  To summarize my points, the needless sirens make me either:  stuck in a hallway with people I don't want to die next to when I'd rather be outside anyway, dead, or sad.

Will upload videos of awesome clouds later.... because I need the space on my phone for the 500.

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