5.02.2011

Clorox wipes to the rescue

Everyone's talking about Osama bin Laden, but I couldn't really give two shits about it (my first thoughts upon hearing my cousin, an Operation Iraqi Freedom veteran, saying in a steady and resolved voice that bin Laden was dead, were "Awww, he's left-handed like me," and then, "gas prices zomg?"), so I'll talk about my hair instead. HEY PEOPLE, LOOK AT ME BLOG ABOUT HAIR.


At a party we threw a few weeks ago...
















AND THEN:

At a party we had on Saturday.  Yes, I'm about to roast up one bitchin' bird.

















In that second picture, my hair is in pigtails. I haven't gotten around to taking a decent picture of it loose yet. And I just tried, with my phone, but it's a Monday morning, my neon green (nnn-TSS nnn-TSS nnn-TSS) fleece sweater (which is the part of the sentence where you realize I'm not going to a rave, but rather, I'm wearing something in a bad color with a company logo on it) is washing me out, and thanks to lack of sleep, my eyes look like I've gotten stung by a bee.

Besides that, my hair looks like shit right now anyway. You'll have to wait with baited breath to see my new hair in its full glory.

But I feel good that I was able to donate 18 inches of my hair to people with cancer. Kinda sucks for them, though, because my hair was really damaged and weak in some areas. So say there's some kid with cancer, and she's told that some lovely woman in Indiana who makes really good lasagna has donated her hair and misses it a lot but sure is glad that cancer girl can have a wig. Cancer girl gets excited. Then cancer girl receives this wig full of damaged hair with dye blotches and split ends. Cancer girl then either gets pissed and sends all her brothers after my blood, or cancer girl kills herself and leaves a note that rips me a new one.

Maybe I've actually done a terrible thing.

Or maybe I'll forget about it and start watching CNN to get any detail I can about bin Laden. Tonight, from the Spin Room: WAS BIN LADEN REALLY LEFT-HANDED? And then, THE COMMON HOUSEHOLD ITEM THAT CAN KILL ALL YOUR CHILDREN WHILE THEY ARE QUIETLY BEHAVING. YOU'LL BE SHOCKED AT WHAT ONE REPORTER UNCOVERED.

Alright, alright. Time to edit documents now. I'll brag about my roast chicken later.

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